Every one of us has things about us, things that we keep hidden and would rather no one else knew. We have fears, that if people really knew some of the things we’ve said, done and thought they would look down on us. It’s human nature. No one wants to be rejected or feel like they don’t belong. So we walk around often hiding from this stuff...repressing it, denying it, whatever gets us through the day or the situation. All the while it eats us up inside, even causes us to have mental and physical health problems.
There is a better way. What if we choose to be honest, honest with ourselves, honest before God, even honest with a few trusted other people in our lives? Most of the time, in our honesty we find...others have stuff too, stuff they feel shame and guilt about. We realize we are not alone and that in confession we can be healed. Everything must come to the light.
That’s what I see in Psalm 51. David’s sin is known, he has been confronted by the prophet Nathan and now he realizes that he can no longer pretend it doesn’t exist. So he pours it all out to God and even records the words for us to be able to read as well. What a blessed relief it must have been to get it all out.
There is something deeply therapeutic about writing out our shame and guilt. Even if we don’t share it with anyone else, just putting the words on paper is a good thing. Sometimes people do this and then burn the paper as a type of ceremony. Whatever works for you is good.
David is pouring all of this out to God and we can do the same. But it also might be helpful to talk with someone face to face in the process of confession. We know our sin. We know our shame. We know what we are trying to hide and run away from. Maybe if we can just stop running long enough, trying to hide it, we can speak it, write it, or pray it and realize healing is waiting.
God knows us. He knows our human condition. He knows we are made of dust and that we are prone to wander. God loves us and doesn’t delight in heaping shame on our heads. He wants us to be free.
As I was studying Psalm 51 today I was thinking about how God might have responded to David’s confession. I couldn’t help but wonder what came directly after these words poured out of David. What did he feel? What message did He hear from God? I never knew this before, but today as I was reading from various commentaries, I discovered that Psalm 32 is regarded as God’s response to David’s Confession in Psalm 51.
Let these words wash over you from Psalm 32 (The Message translation):
Count yourself lucky, how happy you must be-you get a fresh start, your slate is wiped clean.
Count yourself lucky-God holds nothing against you
and you’re holding nothing back from him.
When I kept it all inside, my bones turned to powder, my words became daylong groans.
The pressure never let up; all the juices of my life dried up.
Then I let it all out; I said, “I’ll make a clean breast of my failures to God.”
Suddenly the pressure was gone, my guilt dissolved, my sin disappeared.
These things add up.
Every one of us needs to pray;
when all hell breaks loose and the dam bursts we’ll be on high ground, untouched.
God’s my island hideaway, keeps danger far from the shore,
throws garlands of hosannas around my neck.
Let me give you some good advice;
I’m looking you in the eye and giving it to you straight;
“Don’t be ornery like a horse or mule that needs a bit and bridle to stay on track.”
God-defiers are always in trouble;
God-affirmers find themselves loved every time they turn around.
Celebrate God. Sing together-everyone!
All you honest hearts, raise the roof!
That’s blessed relief right there. I pray all of us will search our hearts and experience the healing that can only come when we stop hiding and running and instead bring our whole selves into the open, into the light. This is where the healing begins.
You are not alone,
Ruth
