He Gives His Beloved Sleep

“God, you give your beloved sleep. Please give me sleep. Help me to rest. Help me to trust that even though I don’t know the future, You do, and that’s enough.  Please calm my anxious fears. I know You are good, and that You are sovereign over all Your creation. Give me faith to trust that You will work good from this. You are good, all Your ways are good and You care for me! You ransomed me with the blood of Your Son and made me Your own. You won’t abandon me. God, please help me rest. Please help me sleep. Take my thoughts captive. I need You. I trust You.”

I cannot count the number of nights I have lain awake in my bed, heart racing, mind going a million miles a minute, begging the Lord to give me sleep. There have been nights I stayed up late toiling in vain, fewer mornings I rose early, but so very many sleepless nights when anxiety and fear gripped me and I couldn’t shake myself free of their grasp.

I could tell you that ten years of pregnancy and nursing babies will contribute to sleeplessness, miscarriages and adoptions that didn’t come to fruition, unemployment, depression, illness, loss of loved ones, kids who wander from the Lord, and in a way that would be true. There is a world of fear/grief in all of these things, and sorrow can take us to the point of too little sleep or too much. All of these things also reminded me of my powerlessness, my ultimate lack of control.

Lack of control causes me tremendous anxiety.

Solomon, the wisest man who ever lived, reminds us that apart from God, everything we do is ultimately in vain. We can build nothing, protect nothing, create nothing unless He allows it. We may build apart from Him, but to what avail? What building stands forever? What nation is not eventually conquered? And if we spend our youth toiling to make a name for ourselves, and sacrifice our family on that altar, what good is it?

I recently made a Spotify playlist. I added my favorite worship songs and then listened while I drove. Half a dozen songs in, I noticed a theme. The songs I love most are those that rehearse the faithfulness of the Lord. They are a reminder that even in my humanity, my inability, my life is held by a God who is forever faithful. And He has been so faithful to me! I can sleep, because whatever He calls me to build, and whatever the outcome, those matters are in His hands.

Psalm 127 shows us two things; the foolishness of thinking we have control of anything apart from God, and the foolishness of being afraid to go where He leads.

What are you “building” in vain?

What is He calling you to do for His glory and the sake of His name and kingdom?

He is faithful! Will you trust Him?

-Natalie Runyon