Your Days Are Numbered

15,088. I’ve lived 15,088 days. For many of those days there has been at least a moment where I anxiously pondered what day would be my last (or the last for someone I love). I’ve lived with fear about what I could not control. Psalm 139 more than any other passage of scripture feels like the song of my heart. These are the things I need to be reminded of, both to fear God as I should and to fear everything else less than I do.

There is a God. He is not distant or unknown. He is sovereign, and the One who forms and fashions human beings. He is eternal and He has all power and dominion and authority, which I believe is an eloquent way of saying He is in control of all of the things that matter, in every way that matters. This God knows me better than I know myself. He knows the depths of my heart, and what I will say before it is said. There is no where I can go where He will not be present with me. I will never walk through any trial or loss alone. In my pit of despair, He is there.

But the verse I remind myself of when I am afraid of death? “In your book were written, every one of them, the days that were formed for me, when as yet there was none of them.”

My days are numbered.

Our days are numbered!

Our God did not knit us together in our mother’s wombs arbitrarily. He created us for good works- to know Him and make Him known- and He designed each of us uniquely and gifted us in such a way that we would be able to accomplish His will for our lives, and before that...before we took our first breath, God numbered our days and gave us the exact number we would need to complete the good works He has ordained for us. No more, and no less.

Psalm 139 is a song that calls us to live boldly, as we are reminded of how fully we are known, intentionally pursued, deeply loved, and securely held by One who is altogether greater than us. None of us know if we have tomorrow, or fifteen thousand more tomorrows, but God does. Our lives are in His hands. May we live boldly for His glory alone, until the day He leads us home.

-Natalie Runyon