I Can't Leave You With a Bad Goodbye

“Alexa, play George Strait.”

After two solid months of Christmas music and telling Alexa “SKIP THIS SONG!” every time Mariah Carey began to sing All I Want For Christmas Is You, I was ready for a change in genre. 

It was New Year’s Day, and I was kneading bread dough. Making bread takes time, and the longer the process, the better the flavor. I sang my way through All My Ex’s Live In Texas, I Cross My Heart and every other song George has written. By the time the bread was in the oven and my soup was simmering, we’d moved on to 90’s country. Clint Black’s A Bad Goodbye came on. I danced around the kitchen, crooning into my wooden spoon microphone, but long after the song ended, I was still contemplating goodbyes. 

Clint told his love he couldn’t leave her with a bad goodbye, but honestly, how often do we leave with a good goodbye? Sometimes we leave without even saying goodbye, presuming that time is on our side or a relationship will not sour before we say hello again. And some goodbyes, we know are final. 

As Paul headed to Jerusalem at the end of his third missionary journey, he stopped in several locations to say goodbye to his partners in ministry, whom he had grown to love. There was little doubt that these partings would be the last. Chapter 21 in the NIV opens with these words “After we had torn ourselves away from them…” Have you ever had to say a goodbye like that? I envision star-crossed lovers who will never be together again, or a family as a beloved child leaves for war. Certainly, these words would make sense in those contexts, but it’s not usually how we think about parting with those we love in the church. 

But why not?

I wonder if it’s because sometimes when we part ways in the church it’s because of disagreement. Conflict is something we often try to avoid, and the longer we sit with our frustration, hurt, anger or other emotions bottled up, the more apt the enemy is to join us there. It’s hard to leave in peace when we are in turmoil. 

Here in this portion of Acts, we read about a few warnings that Paul received. Through the Spirit, the disciples at Tyre urged him not to continue to Jerusalem. In Caesarea, a prophet from Agabus visited Paul.  “He took Paul’s belt, tied his own hands and feet with it and said, “The Holy Spirit says, ‘In this way the Jewish leaders in Jerusalem will bind the owner of this belt and will hand him over to the Gentiles.’”When those with Paul heard this, they and the people there pleaded with Paul not to go up to Jerusalem.

Still Paul went. His mind was made up. 

Did Paul disobey the Lord and go in spite of the warnings? Did the Holy Spirit give the warnings only so that Paul and those who loved him would be better prepared for what was to come? Was someone right here, and someone else wrong? 

When Paul would not be dissuaded, those with him gave up and said, “The Lord’s will be done.”

The Bible doesn’t tell us who was right and who was wrong. It does tell us, though, that even in deep disagreement, all agreed that the Lord’s will should and would be done. Paul and his co-laborers knew that ultimately, the Lord’s will WAS going to be done. They couldn’t thwart it, inadvertently or otherwise. 

Neither can we. 

The church in America has said a lot of goodbyes over the past two years. Whether through death, over sharp disagreements, or because of burn out, churches are closing, people are leaving, and Pastors are quitting in record numbers. We’ve felt the loss even at The Bridge, and it hurts. 

What can we do?

God’s will is still going to be done, even in our day. Christ will continue to build his Church. Lord willing, we will continue to make disciples and keep becoming a people who love God wholeheartedly and one another as we love ourselves. 

How we say goodbye matters, because how we love matters. While there may be more goodbyes to come, let’s resolve to love well so that the world will see the gospel on display even in our conflicts, our grief and goodbyes. 

His will be done.

Natalie

Sometimes, the best prayers happen while baking bread, and relationships are mended while breaking bread. I’ve included my favorite recipe below if you want to give it a try.

No Fail Homemade Bread

2 packets of yeast

2 cups of warm water

A dozen shakes of salt from the shaker

Stir together in a large bowl and let sit for ten minutes until the liquid begins to look frothy. 

Add 3 cups of bread flour and 2 cups of all purpose flour, stirring in one cup at a time. 

When the dough no longer sticks to your spoon or hands (using your hands for the last cup is much more satisfying), cover your dough with a towel. I like to set my bowl in a warm place. 

Let dough rise for at least two hours, but the longer it rises, the better it tastes. 

Separate your dough in two, form into a ball, and using a rolling pin, roll each out onto a lightly floured surface. When flattened out to about 1/4 inch thick, begin to roll it into a baguette shape with your hands, tucking the ends. Repeat for the second ball of dough. 

Place on a lightly greased cookie sheet, and bake at 425 degrees for about twenty minutes until loaves just begin to look golden. 

Immediately brush the tops with melted butter or avocado oil, and generously sprinkle with garlic salt (this is the Lord’s salt!), pepper, basil, oregano, rosemary and any other herbs you love. 

Slice it, slather it with butter, and enjoy over good conversation.