Jesus and a Grieving Sister
/
The conversation with Jesus this coming week is from John 11. I’ll be honest, it’s a story that feels gut wrenching to me on a variety of levels.
The timing of Jesus.
Mary and Martha send word to Jesus, “Master, the one you love so very much is sick.”
Jesus gets the message and says, “This sickness is not fatal…” and “oddly” (it actually says this in The Message translation) chooses to stay where He is for two more days.
Jesus “finally” (yes, this is actually the word that is used), gets there and finds that Lazarus has been dead for 4 days.
Martha’s grief.
“Master, if you’d been here, my brother wouldn’t have died. Even now, I know that whatever you ask God he will give you.”
Jesus says: “Your brother will be raised up.”
Martha replies: “I know he will be raised up in the resurrection at the end of time.
Jesus says: “You don’t have to wait for the End. I am the Resurrection and the life. The one who believes in me, even though he or she dies, will live. Do you believe this?
Martha says: Yes, Master. All along I have believed that you are the Messiah, the Son of God who comes into the world.”
It’s as if they are not talking about the same things...Jesus knows that He is going to raise Lazarus from the dead... TODAY. Martha has no idea what He is talking about but confirms her belief that He is the Messiah. Hmmm…
Mary’s grief.
“Master, if only you had been here, my brother would not have died.”
Jesus wants to know where did you put Lazarus? The sobbing of Mary and the Jews is highlighted, and a deep anger wells up within Jesus.
Time out...Jesus is angry? And then He weeps...
OK, at this point, I must tell you, it is really hard for me to get my mind and heart around what all has taken place here. I know the feeling of experiencing this kind of loss, where I had the faith that if Jesus just said the word all would be well. I know the feeling of that word not being spoken. I know the trite sayings that tend to come from well-meaning but shallow thinking Christians during these types of times. It’s painful. I’m trying to read this story without inserting my own life story or every other person’s life story who has experienced the pain of disappointment when things don’t work out the way you hope, but it’s difficult.
Jesus is clearly in control the whole time. He knew from the first moment what He was going to do and calmly states it several times throughout the whole exchange, but I can clearly see the sisters don’t understand. They are just grieving and broken-hearted.
Ultimately...Lazarus is raised and lives to see another day. But...all of us know this is the exception not the rule in these types of scenarios in real life. So... what do we do with that?
A couple of observations stand out to me.
God’s timing is past, present, and future, overarching everything. I fit into God’s timing and not the other way around. There are moments when God’s timing does fall into place with mine and the ‘stars align’, the job comes through, the opportunity opens up, the pregnancy happens, the sickness goes away...but much of life is spent the other way around, where God’s timing and mine probably are not in sync the way I would like them to be. It’s very easy to become disillusioned and disappointed in these moments. As humans we are far more self-absorbed than we realize and would like the world and even God to revolve around us and our needs. It doesn’t.
When we are grieving and broken hearted, Jesus doesn’t make light of it. He doesn’t condemn us or shame us or tell us not to feel the pain. He doesn’t say trite things or give bumper sticker slogans. He acknowledges our pain. He knows we are human. He was human himself. What He does instead is - He gives us a better glimpse or reminds us of who He is. If you look through the Bible and even in your own life story you will notice that every time you experience the pain of loss, struggle and grief, there is an opportunity to experience parts of Jesus that you might not have been aware of before. I see this in Hagar’s story when she realizes in her desperate time that “He is the God who sees”. I see it in Abraham and Isaac’s story when He sees that God is the “God who provides,” before almost sacrificing his son. I see it in Moses’ story at the burning bush when he sees that God is the great “I am”. And on and on...God reveals himself to us when we are at our greatest points of need.
For me...in 2007, when my husband passed away. I can tell you God became My Redeemer in a personal way and the Lover of my Soul. I knew Him as my Friend and Father, but when my husband died...I felt Him as My beloved and husband too. Need...calls our attention to who Jesus is. But we must tune in and listen.
Finally, Jesus wept. Shortest verse in the bible and one that I now think is often misunderstood. Jesus can’t be weeping just for Martha and Mary...why would He do that when He knows what’s about to happen? He’s about to give them the biggest gift ever...He’s not going to waste time sitting and crying. No, there is anger in these tears. Sorrow mixed with anger. This event of raising Lazarus from the dead is the pivotal moment when Jesus is walking very deliberately into His own death and resurrection. This miracle is far greater than just healing a sick person, the people take notice and the Pharisees begin to plot to kill Jesus immediately. This is the moment when everything changes.
I’ve come to see Jesus weeping in this story as being about more than just the two or three people in this chapter, but instead as part of a much bigger story. This is not the way things were supposed to be. Sin...death is the result of sin and Jesus weeping here lets us know that He was human and broken-hearted for all of us who live and die here, because He knows that all of us have or will suffer because of what Satan has done all the way back in the garden of Eden. This is the sorrow and anger...righteous anger that knows this is not the way things were supposed to be, and not what God intended for us when He created us.
This story shows us that Jesus has power even over death.
But it also shows us that Jesus knows what it feels like to live in a broken world and to care about people in a broken world. For everyone who has experienced loss and not the miracle here on this earth...Jesus doesn’t make light of it. He makes it clear that he ‘gets’ it. There are no bumper sticker awkward comments here...just a Savior who sits and feels the whole gamut of emotion over what was lost for all of us when sin entered the world. This...makes all the difference when you’re grieving. We all need to know Jesus ‘gets’ our pain, doesn’t make light of it and grieves with us over the stuff that happens that should’ve never happened.
You can probably tell...this story and this picture of Jesus speaks to me deeply...I have a feeling you might connect with it too.
Ruth Spencer